i don't love myself

enough.

how much courage does it take to admit that?

as much as it took for me to realize it, to confront my fear instead of running from it.

i need to get out of my comfort zone and say, f**k it.

you know who feels the most comfortable?

the dead.

yeah, i know you can still sense my hesitation, my intimidation. but this coward finally took her first step.

start from confronting my ocd. those thoughts and behaviors that give me temporary relief and bring me sense of safety, but are just excuses to escape.

dead people feel the most comfortable and peaceful.

why don’t i love myself enough?

because i’ve been living like i’m dead.

photo credit: luma pimentel