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Writer's pictureSummer Vvvera

i struggle a lot

i like to define myself, my day, my work. everything.


one of my biggest struggles is what a good day looks like.

good = productive

i define a good day as a productive day, which means how many tasks I finished, and how many hours i spent doing things. i'm such a quantitative person and forgot about quality.

it drives me crazy, and hardly ever felt like i had a good day because i keep setting my bar high, which could be an infinite number.


what's changed?

good = meaningful (+ productive)

it's more important to have a meaningful day than a productive one. for example, i used to procrastinate on practicing Procreate drawing and web design, because 1) it requires big time commitment; 2) i'm not sure if i can 'accomplish/finish' anything after hours or days; 3) it's out of my comfort zone and something i'm not familiar with. the fear of uncertainty and inability to meet my judgment of having a 'productive' day stops me from doing any artwork i've always desired and loved.


productivity drives me crazy.

then i realized i need to redefine what a good day looks like, which means a meaningful day. i don't need to finish ten tasks every day; i don't need to push myself to keep doing work without a break and staying late; i don't need to count the number of tasks or hours spent every day as productivity; i don't need to just do things i feel like i need to, not truly i want to.

it frees my mind.


if i challenged myself to do something new, that's meaningful;

if i made small changes and get out of my comfort zone, that's meaningful;

if i was in a flow state and so engaged in doing something, that's meaningful;

if i felt happiness and joy, that's meaningful.


it can be just one small thing and last one minute, or an aha moment. that's all i need to have a good day. a meaningful day.


free space in mind brings more possibilities, joy, and meanings to life. being qualitative and gentle to yourself.


it's ok we struggle.

it's ok some days are not ok.


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